Mallard Pies and Ducks
by LieutnantArtemis0207
Summary: The story of how Will and Jace both found out about how blood thirsty ducks really are. Two shot. R&R and constructive criticism is welcomed.
1. Chapter 1

"Will!" the black haired Nephilim ignored his frantic parabatai, as he stormed down the path leading to where _they_ were.

Those bloody ducks...

"Jem!" he mocked, adjusting the picnic basket on his arm.

"Do you really have to do this?" the silver haired boy appealed.

"I have to know how evil those bastards are!" Will stomped his foot, then looked imploringly at Jem.

"Fine," he mumbled. "Let's see what the ducks do." Jem shook his head fondly as his best friend and brother skipped down the path to the lake in Hyde Park.

As far as Jem understood, Will was going to feed the poor birds some concoction. The whole object of the exercise was to prove to those at the Institute that ducks were the true enemy. He had never understood what had started Will's ridiculous phobia but a moment in a duck's presence was enough to send the loud, boisterous, 14 year old, squealing to his room.

Jem was sure that Jessamine kept a record of the amount of times it had happened, and once the tally had reached fifty, there was a celebratory duck waiting in Will's sanctuary. That night, Jem had shared his bed with the boy and learned that Will was a hugger.

It had been an experience and a half. And Jem liked to recall it at appropriate moments, like at Balls or when Will was reciting a grand soliloquy about his hunting prowess. It never failed to brighten everyone else's day.

When Jem caught up with Will, the boy was peering over the wall, slightly crossed eyed.

"By the Angel," Will swore. "There's loads of them."

"Three," Jem counted. "Hardly an army."

"That's what they want you to think!"

"Of course Will."

"Don't be condescending Jem," Will reprimanded, straightening to glare at his parabatai. He then remembered himself and ducked down again. "Throw a pie over the bridge."

"A pie," Jem repeated, blinking in disbelief.

"Yes," Jem could hear the impatience in Will's voice. "A poultry pie." Jem froze, his hand extended half way to the basket.

"A POULTRY PIE?" the silver haired parabatai exploded. Will's shoulders shook with laughter and Jem calmed down before asking again. "A poultry pie? With bird in it?"

"Duck. There's duck in it," Will corrected, and then turned to stare over the edge of the bridge. He then turned to his friend and sighed. " I'll do it if you want."

"No, no," Jem said lightly, taking out a pie and making a face of disgust. "I'll do it. But why are you feeding ducks duck?"

"To show that they're cannibals and not to be trusted," Will nodded to himself and gestured for Jem to throw the pie. Sighing, the Nephilim tossed the pie over the bridge.

Both the boys watched in curious horror as the ducks attacked the pie, demolishing it in a few minutes.

"By the Angel," Will mumbled. "THEY ARE CANNIBALS!"

"Come Will," Jem said patiently. "Let's go back to the Institute, I'm sure Henry would love to hear what you have to say."

"Yeah, sure," Will brushed the dirt off his trousers and slowly the walked off when a noise made them freeze.

"Oh dear," Jem sighed. Will turned to face his deadly enemy.

The duck took a step forward.

Will took two steps back.

The duck waddled forward and Will ran screaming for his life.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jace!" the blonde haired Nephilim ignored his exasperated parabatai, as he stormed down the path leading to where _they_ were.

Those god dammed ducks...

"ALEC!" he mocked, adjusting the bag on his back

"Do you really have to do this?" the black haired boy appealed.

"I have to know how evil those bastards are!" Jace stomped his foot, pouted and then looked imploringly at Alec.

"Fine," he mumbled. "Let's see what the ducks do." Alec shook his head fondly as his best friend and brother skipped down the path to the lake in Central Park.

As far as Alec understood, Jace was going to feed the poor birds some concoction. The whole object of the exercise was to prove to those at the Institute that ducks were the true enemy. He had never understood what had started Jace's ridiculous phobia (Alec considered it was a hereditary problem) but a moment in a duck's presence was enough to send the loud, boisterous, 14 year old, squealing to his room.

Alec was sure that Izzy kept a record of the amount of times it had happened, and once the tally had reached fifty, there was a celebratory duck waiting in Jace's sanctuary. That night, Alec had shared his bed with the boy and learned that Jace was a hugger, much to Alec's chargrin.

It had been an experience and a half. And Alec liked to recall it at appropriate moments, like at parties or when Jace was reciting a grand soliloquy about his hunting prowess. It never failed to brighten everyone else's day.

When Alec caught up with Jace, the boy was peering over the wall, slightly crossed eyed.

"By the Angel," Jace swore. "There's loads of them."

"Three," Alec counted. "Hardly an army."

"That's what they want you to think!"

"Of course Jace."

"Don't be condescending Alec," Jace reprimanded, straightening to glare at his parabatai. He then remembered himself and ducked down again. "Throw a pie over the bridge."

"A pie," Alec repeated, blinking in disbelief.

"Yes," Alec could hear the impatience in Jace's voice. "A poultry pie." Alec froze, his hand extended half way to the bag.

"A POULTRY PIE?" the black haired parabatai exploded. Jace's shoulders shook with laughter and Alec calmed down before asking again. "A poultry pie? With bird in it?"

"Duck. There's duck in it," Jace corrected, and then turned to stare over the edge of the bridge. He then turned to his friend and sighed. " I'll do it if you want."

"No, no," Alec said lightly, taking out a pie and making a face of disgust. "I'll do it. But why are you feeding ducks duck?"

"To show that they're cannibals and not to be trusted," Jace nodded to himself and gestured for Alec to throw the pie. Sighing, the Nephilim tossed the pie over the bridge.

Both the boys watched in curious horror as the ducks attacked the pie, demolishing it in a few minutes.

"By the Angel," Jace mumbled. "THEY ARE CANNIBALS!"

"Come on Jace," Alec said patiently. "Let's go back to the Institute, I'm sure Hodge would love to hear what you have to say."

"Yeah, sure," Jace brushed the dirt off his trousers and slowly the walked off when a noise made them freeze.

"Oh no," Alec sighed. Jace turned to face his deadly enemy.

The duck took a step forward.

Jace took two steps back.

The duck waddled forward and Jace ran screaming for his life.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this!**


End file.
